Last Call: Citizenship and Immigration

T

hursday is our next attempt at getting M's immigration status back on track. After forgetting to renew her conditional green card, we have been in court, through immigration interviews and out of a lot of money due to lawyer fees. I swear, I am burned out, stressed out and plum tuckered out. I mean, we are law abiding citizens. We pay our taxes. We don't do drugs. We don't hold wild, all night orgies. All we want to do is live peacefully and lawfully in the US. This interview is to do two things: reinstate her status as a legal resident--which she is as the wife of a US citizen--and remove her conditional status once and for all.

This morning started with a phone call from our lawyer. She scolded me for not being home. I've been trying to reach you since Monday! I told her we were in the Appalachians with relatives visiting from Japan. Likely story. Nah, she didn't really say that. But she did sound rather worried sine our interview is on Thursday. She wanted us to come in to confirm the documents we are supposed to take with us. When I told her that is what I was going to do today: The interview is for tomorrow!

Oh well...

Anyway, I already had a lot of the documentation gathered, made copies on our brand new Brother DCP7020--which is noisy as hell but at least works when you want it to, unlike our previous Canon Multipass piece of crap--and we went to the law office. They were rather relieved and pleased that the documentation I had assembled in about an hour and half was complete and neatly collated. All my last minute crises at school has paid off. It has taught me how to focus and get things done quickly when necessary.

The lead lawyer peppered us with possible questions the INS agent may ask. They just want to make sure we have a legitimate marriage, he said.

• What side of the bed do you sleep on?
  Left side.
• What color are you sheets?
  Um, off-white? Beige?
• Where did you meet your wife?
  At a sports club. She was an aerobics teacher; I participated. You could say I married my teacher. Hehe...
• Uh, yeah... haha. What color bed clothes was your wife wearing when you woke up this morning?
  This morning? Mmmmm. She wears a T-shirt like I do, so it's different every night, so... navy? Maybe? Black?
• You should be sure of your answer. Pay attention to what she wears to sleep tonight.
  Uh, okay.
• What did you give each other last Christmas?
  Last Christmas? That's a really good question.
• How about last birthday? What did you give her and what did she give you?
  Uh... That's an even better question...
• Okay, let's try something simpler. Where did you propose to her?
  Well, it never was such a big deal. We met, fell in love and it was kind of a forgone conclusion that we'd get married. It was just a part of our normal conversations, y'know: "When we get together, lets get this kind of house," or "what kind of furniture should we get?" I didn't do one of those down-on-your-knees "Will you marry me" kind of proposals. This was both our second marriage and we didn't want to make such a big deal out of it.
• But you did buy a ring didn't you?
  Of course!
• Where did you buy it?
  Er.......
• How big is it?
  A little smaller than a kernel of corn?
• No, no, I mean, how many Karats is it?
  Carrots?
• Okay, then how much was it?
  Um, in dollars or in yen?
• ....................
  ....................

Well, we leave at 7 AM for our 8 AM interview. I hope it goes better than the mock interview with our lawyer. And by the way, M is wearing a black T-shirt as she is getting ready to sleep....