Saturday, December 20, 2003

One last time: I am not Chan, I'm Onigiriman!

Ah crap, it rhymed even...

BarbEric was questioning who Onigiriman really is. Well, seriously, I am a lump of cooked rice made into a triangular shape and clothed in seaweed. Pretty straight forward, don't you think? And I live a nice peaceful life out in the DC suburbs of Vienna, VA. Here, this is a shot of me on my street last week after it snowed. Now, I don't try to interfere with anyone's life. I mind my own business. I sometimes see a movie, go to the mall, have a drink with Musubi-chan. But recently, the word has gotten out that I look like Jackie Chan, or that I am even the guy himself. Well let me set the record straight, right now. I AM NOT JACKIE CHAN. I am a glob of rice. I may have an umeboshi in my bellybutton at times, but in general, I am the conglomeration of a bunch of cooked rice grains, short grain not long.

Of course, when I go out, I have to put on a mask, and I must admit that this mask looks vaguely like the Chan Man. This is the mask I wear. Okay, I realize its not as handsome as the REAL me, the one above, that loveable clump of soft, smooshy cooked rice with the roasted crunchy nori (seaweed) wrap on the outside. But, hey, if I didn't go out incognito, someone might try to grab me from behind and take a bite out of me. OUCH! Now that would smart. And what would CSI do when they found my body? I mean, I see CSI every week, Thursday night on CBS, Friday night on Spike TV, and despite all their fancy gadgets and scientific knowledge, I'm pretty sure they know nothing about the anatomy of a Japenese riceball, let alone Japanese cooking in general...

But using this mask has placed my in a quandry! I have just learned that they have used my image to caricature the now infamous Chan Man. Will you look at this?!? This is supposed to be the Chan Man on the Cartoon Network's Jackie Chan's Adventure. Now seriously, does this look like Jackie Chan to you? I mean, look at it! It doesn't look anything like the real me, but it looks pretty close to my alter ego. And man! If they were gonna "borrow" my image, you'd think they'd do a better job. This is the worst bit of farking I've ever seen. Geez, they shoulda at least changed the color of the sweater, ya' think? Hahahahahh.

I'm just screwing around. BarbEric Bojo was taking cracks at me on his site, and i happened to see a portion of the Cartoon Channel the same night and decided to have a little fun. Man, I'm glad grading is finished. Now I can have fun and do stupid things like this again... At least until the next semester... sigh...

Generating Traffic
Another thing BarbEric talked about--besides the great number of e-props and comments he's been getting--is the fact that he leaves twice as many props as he gets. Well, I can say the same. But it seems to me that to generate traffic, you have to start by stepping on the gas. That means you have to go around and visit people and leave comments. If you think people are gonna come to your site without going to theirs, it won't happen--unless you have a really cute profile pic or you are one hella writer... Speaking of which, you guys should check out ifso if you haven't yet. Now there's a writer...

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