Random thoughts

T

his is the last weekend of the summer for me. I have a Program meeting on Monday, and a departmental meeting Tuesday. School will start Wednesday with my first class, Japanese Literature in Translation. Going back to school is all fine and dandy, but what I want to know is: Where the heck did the summer go?!? At the risk of sounding like a whiner, I really wanna know, where the heck the time goes. I can literally see my life flowing away. Time to sit back, take stock, and get my $hit together.

Okay, I'm glad I got that off my chest...

Real Tension...

Yesterday, I wrote about my view on my familial responsibility, between understanding modernity and maintaining traditions. As is often the case, neither is right nor wrong. I believe that in most of us live with varying degrees of tension in our life. It manifests itself in our beliefs, in our like and dislikes, in our emotions. Indeed, our very life is a taut line pulled between two extremes: am I good or bad, right or wrong, active or lazy. Ulitimately, our lives are determined by the choices we make. If we make the "right" choices, which means the choices the one can live with--or perhaps more importantly, one that is socially acceptable--then there is some slack in the line. Make the wrong choice, then the tension in the line intesifies. When the line gets too taut... *snap*...

So we make adjustments so the line won't snap. AmI moder or traditional? Do I root for America or Japan? This may sound like easy or inconsequential decisions... I mean, really, whether I root for America or Japan is not going to change the Olympics, will it? Will my voice push athletes on one side or the other to excel even more? Not likely. But it IS important to me, for these decisions ultimately determine who I am, how I see myself, how I present myself to the world. And this presence will change--albeit in a small a way--those around me, including, maybe, some fo you. And while I may sound pompous and self-important by saygin something like that, I should note that many of you have changed me as well. Not greatly, perhaps--age has its advantages, as well. But we all influence each other and to ignore this would be foolish. There is no one who is completely isolated from society.

Anyway, this is getting deep than I wanted. It was just a random thought, but this subject gets me going. I think I'll think about this a bit more...

Locked in

Omega wrote about being locked out, and it reminded me of the first time I got dead drunk. I was 17 years old and I had gone to the boss's house for New Years for the first time. Diddly, a fellow worker, tried to hit on GeishaGirl and later played some poker with the "elders". I found myself sitting and talking to Chikara, one of the rice cake cooks. He was already drunk and he told me to join him. Which I gladly did. After he a few sips from our second fifth of J&B, GeishaGirl and Diddly thought that it would be awful if I was returned home in such a state, so they drove me around town in an attempt to get me sober. I sat in the back seat of Diddly's dark blue Toyota, and watched the city lights whir pass my unfocused eyes.

I guess the kaleidescope of colors was too much for my somach. I notified Diddly that the contents of my stomach were heading north instead of south, and he flew into the first open gas station. He led me to the men's room where I entered an open stall and puked my life force away...

Whew... I felt a bit better, and when I washed my face a bit with cold water, I felt even better, although still quite drunk. Too bad you can't puke the alcohol already in the brain, I thought as I turned around to leave. But when I reached for the door but I realized that there was no handle to pull. I was in a panic. I pounded on the door and screamed for someone to rescue me! Help me! Diddly! Get me out of here! Finally my friend pulled open the door from the outside.

"What the hell is taking you so long," he asked me sternly.

"uh, I was just about to leave" I responded sheepishly. I realized that all I had to do was push it open. Damn! No wonder there was no handle!

Ah, the dangers of being drunk, young, by yourself, and... yeah, stupid.

Have a good weekend all. I'll get to the senryu results asap.