Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Expired Green Card

Or why does life seem to be getting harder...

I

have been running around again, trying to get my life in order. Why do things have to be so hard? Father dies, addition of step son, and I missed my chance to hang with one of my most favorite students this summer because we were both too too busy (he just graduated Law School.)

So anyway, today I go to court to deal with M's expired green card. We were relieved when she got her card two years ago. I realized that it was conditional and after two years we were supposed to reapply with "proof" that we were still married. Well, I just kinda forgot. When she came back from Japan and they held her at the airport *gulp*, I had a panic attack. Had two years already gone by? Are they not going to let her in? What if they send her back to Japan? Well, they didn't. The INS is not a monster, but the rules and regulations seem monstrously demanding at times. I mean, I am an American citizen and we are happily married... I don't want to have to worry about whether we cal live together in the US. There are so many other things to worry about, aren't there? I guess the relief of finally getting a green card--conditional or not--was a big burden off my back and I kind of focused on other things in my life, like my job, XANGA (!), my house--broken pipe last year, a stupid squirrel the year before--it seems like every freakin' summer something happens. And of course the rest of the year is dedicated to my students... *sigh* I'll be 50 years old next year. Yes, the O-man is turning the big five-oh next year. That's fifty years, a half century. What am I doing here?

Hehehehe, anyway, I thought life was supposed to get easier as I got older. How the hell did I get that stupid idea. And time goes by faster than it should. Some genius I read recently--I can't remember who--wrote that the relative speed of time between different ages is the ratio of those ages. For example, one year goes by 4 times faster at 20 than it did when I was five--20 ÷ 5 = 4. So for me, in general, one year goes by twice as fast or faster than most of you reading this. Well, with time passing by at warp speed before my eyes, everytime I take care of one problem the next one is standing in front of me with his hands raised telling me he's next...

掴んでも 指から逃げる 浜の砂

tukande mo
yubi kara nigeru
hama no suna

Although I grip firmly,
it escapes through my fingers--
beach sand

This is a senryu by my father in 1989 when he was 77. It reflects how I feel now as time flies by. Indeed, this is exactly what I was thinking as I grabbed a hand ful of sand at Venice Beach last week when I was in LA for his funeral. As Robert Frost said, I have miles to go before I sleep--or something like that--so I'd better start doing the things I have to do...

Senryu sumissions

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