Thursday, December 11, 2003

Life and aging 2...

Here's the continuation of yesterdays questions:

1) What's life like at your age?
See yesterday's post.

2) Has your perception of life changed?
Yes, my perception has changed to a high degree. Of course, this should be true of almost everyone. And it has nothing to do with getting older. As we live our lives, and experience more things, we change. Everything that enters our lives--love, hate, happiness, sadness, birth, death, new school, old friends--affects us, changes us and we are influenced and in turn influence those around us. Perhaps understanding this basic--almost too obvious--situation is the most important thing I have learned to this point. As a result, I now have a tendency to either think things through very carefully since I know what I say or do will affect others, or I will throw caution to the wind and say what I want--but in the knowledge that it may affect others positively or negatively.

There is a major drawback to this. When I get drunk--like, all the time--I'll say things without thinking about it. Now, we have perhaps all experienced something similar--whether it be drug or alcohol induced. Unfortunately, since I have know that what I said may affect others, when I sober up, I sometimes go through an incredibly horrendous guilt trip... no, more like a journey sometimes. Have you ever felt bad enough to want to crawl into a little hole? I sometimes will stand in the shower and cringe in the corner, lightly knocking my head against the wall, muttering alternately, "Why did I say that?" and "I'll never drink again." Hah! We all know how long that lasts...

Anyway, my perception of life has changed. For me, I take things much more lightly. I don't make such a big deal over anything anymore, because things change so often and frequently that getting into a huff about anything becomes pointless after awhile. Lakers don't reach the championship series? So what. They'll reach it again soon. Bruins get their butts kicked by SC? Crap, this is definitely harrd to take, but got a roll with the punches. Besides there are far more important issues than sports. The death of my mom a couple of years ago really made me realize that some of the things I placed emphasis on--money, career--are ephemeral. Can't take it with you, and they are the least important things when you know you're going to die. It was an eye opener.

Hope you're taking notes, whoever you are...

3) Whats important to you now?
Day after tomorrow...

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